Friday, May 16, 2008

My Real Sad Story

Dear friends, two weeks ago I read a book about four true stories of abuse. The four stories are very sad, they talk about their lifes when they were child and younguest. They talk too how they follow ahead and how try to live a good life far away from bad memories of violence and abuse.

When I read this book,sometimes I cried and I was sad, but at the time happy, because they improve themselves. It's hard for me to try tell this, because something like that happened to me when I was child. I'm ok now. I suffered abuse by a man too, this man is son's friend from my mom when she was young. He never raped me, but I try to remember what's wrong in that time, because my mind close that part.Sometimes I don't remember what more happened. I talked about that with the priest in the church, where I volunter. He told me to try and remember all together and maybe that would help me. All that thinking about that I remember just one part. He never raped me only touched me, but I can talk about that, I need it. Because when you are child and suffer abuse by anybody,you think it is your fault, but it isn't. I never told my mom and she didn't know now, because she is sick and I don't want her to feel it is her fault. My Dad abandoned to my mom when I was very child, my mom worked hard for us for that I love her. I never said anything because I had been afraid and wouldn't be believe. Now I think it's not my fault,because I was only 11 years old.

I think of the girls and woman who are sitting there hiding their own secret of sexual abuse or other kind of abuse, too ashamed to speak it aloud. When something horrible happens to you and you keep it buried, it's easy to start believing that your story is the worst, that you are uniquely horrible, and that no one would ever, ever be able to accept you.

If they knew the truth about you. My husband and my little brother know my story, they support me and give thanks to GOD that man didn't raped me. I have learned to accept myself and to see the good things that make me what I am.
Now I try live the present, the past is back.


Anonymous said...

What an amazing story. You are SO brave to tell this story. Thank you for opening your heart to share your pain in this wonderful literary magazine. Jode

Kirsten said...

Thank you for telling your story. By using language to tell what happened to you and your feelings about it you are helping yourself and also helping others who have had similar experiences. I'm glad that people who are close to you are supportive of you. Keep being the strong, insightful person you are.

sue said...

I know this story was not easy to write. I am so proud of you for telling it. And also for publishing it from home. Be sure to let the others know that it is here, so they can come and read it. You have given us all a gift by being brave and courageous enough to tell your story.

Lucinda said...

Hi, that is true things happen to a lot of people and we can't change that. But, we can grow strong and tell others so they can learn. To tell the story to someone who might need to here what is going on. And then they will all so grow and realize that it is wrong. So your story is great and thanks for sharing it with us.