Friday, May 16, 2008
My Real Sad Story
Dear friends, two weeks ago I read a book about four true stories of abuse. The four stories are very sad, they talk about their lifes when they were child and younguest. They talk too how they follow ahead and how try to live a good life far away from bad memories of violence and abuse.
When I read this book,sometimes I cried and I was sad, but at the time happy, because they improve themselves. It's hard for me to try tell this, because something like that happened to me when I was child. I'm ok now. I suffered abuse by a man too, this man is son's friend from my mom when she was young. He never raped me, but I try to remember what's wrong in that time, because my mind close that part.Sometimes I don't remember what more happened. I talked about that with the priest in the church, where I volunter. He told me to try and remember all together and maybe that would help me. All that thinking about that I remember just one part. He never raped me only touched me, but I can talk about that, I need it. Because when you are child and suffer abuse by anybody,you think it is your fault, but it isn't. I never told my mom and she didn't know now, because she is sick and I don't want her to feel it is her fault. My Dad abandoned to my mom when I was very child, my mom worked hard for us for that I love her. I never said anything because I had been afraid and wouldn't be believe. Now I think it's not my fault,because I was only 11 years old.
I think of the girls and woman who are sitting there hiding their own secret of sexual abuse or other kind of abuse, too ashamed to speak it aloud. When something horrible happens to you and you keep it buried, it's easy to start believing that your story is the worst, that you are uniquely horrible, and that no one would ever, ever be able to accept you.
If they knew the truth about you. My husband and my little brother know my story, they support me and give thanks to GOD that man didn't raped me. I have learned to accept myself and to see the good things that make me what I am.
Now I try live the present, the past is back.